Humor, Always Priceless!

Okay, I realize this has ZERO to do with music but humor me:  looking for a way to back up humongous audio tracks that is portable, I found a big 256GB USB drive on Amazon.  This is the first of the Customer Questions and Answers:

"Question:

Can I paint my kitchen with this flash drive?

Answer:

No, it's designed for painting basements only. You could paint the kitchen with it but it would not give you the best results. I'm not an expert but for kitchen I think you need a bluetooth receiver. Buy something expensive though, cheap ones only paint in blue. :(
By Saygin Koc on May 11, 2016

yes but it will take a while

Norvin answered on February 12, 2014

 | 15 of 16 found this helpful. Do you?  

No, it's designed for painting basements only. You could paint the kitchen with it but it would not give you the best results. I'm not an expert but for kitchen I think you need a bluetooth receiver. Buy something expensive though, cheap ones only paint in blue. :(

Depends, are you using a digital kitchen?

Hilarious!!! I too feel like posting a gag question like this some times after reading some of the inane questions that are asked. ;^)

sure if it's properly formatted..

Absolutely! You can have it WITH you while painting. When painting WITH it, its best to do like I do and keep it in your back pocket out of the way; it has a tendency to try to write on kitchen walls at around 8 MB/Sec. I hope this helped.

For normal speed painting, just tape it to your paint brush or roller.

It depends to your cpu architecture diagram.

This is hilarious. You all made my night lol...

AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE....

Yes, but you need to be sure to download the drivers from Sherwin-Williams.(-:

“Hidin’ Downisland” Gig Update: Rehearsals on the River

Joel, my relentless, uncompromising, perfectionist producer and co-writer, has spent the past few months doing what he does best: “refining”.  The man is a master audio distiller who has been locked in his production studio tweaking, polishing and generally obsessing over how best to take the past 20+ years of our creative collaboration as recorded and convert it into a compelling and distinct live sound.  As usual, he’s making our music even better in the process.

Joel always sounds great onstage, so his half of our rehearsal results is no surprise.  He’s a talented multi-instrumentalist and whether teasing out a sensitive ballad on the keyboard or wailing with his big pedal effect box one of my sea shanties.  Me, well…I’m a work in progress.  But we’ve had two solid weeks of rehearsal sessions, each 3-4 hours, and Joel says I’m “way ahead” of where he thought I would be considering my story of the past few years.  How time flies:

·        In May of 2014, I was officially diagnosed with mouth cancer…exactly two weeks after we’d JUST finished recording the last of my vocal tracks for “Hidin’ Downisland”.

·        In late July of 2014, I finished the 3 rounds of chemotherapy and the 35 daily radiation treatments and began what I look back on my “100 Days in Hell”

·        In October 2014, we shot the first album video, “So Good Then”, with me 100% voiceless, lip-syncing myself like some sort of protozoan version of Milli Vanilli…shortly thereafter being told I was cancer-free.

The miracle of all this is not lost on me, and the opportunity for this rusty old singer who hasn’t gigged in years to once again get out there and share our music in live venues is, to me, one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.   I look forward to seeing you when we finally start playing out again. J

Holy Ghostwriting

Sometimes when I write a song, it's a drawn out process.  But sometimes, it involves literally waking up in the middle of the night (or the morning) and sprinting to find a legal pad on which to write the words and grabbing the Iphone to make an audio note of melody, vibe, and song structure...which essentially just "appeared" in my head.  Crazy stuff.  There have been such songs on my prior records - and at least one on "Hidin' Downisland" - which I cannot honestly say I composed.  It's more like I took dictation, really.

Odd and inexplicable "gifts" like these songs have always been a part of my life and my story reflects a considerable amount of unearned (and probably undeserved) grace.    Take the way I sailed through my brush with the Big C.  For those who don't know the story, in spring of 2014 I was diagnosed with cancer at the base of my tongue.  After three months of hellish chemo and radiation and another three months of healing, the good folks at Mt. Sinai Cancer Center pronounced me Big-C-Free.  (All proceeds from the sale of "Hidin' Downisland" are going to Mt. Sinai CC, btw.)  My recovery, which continues today, has changed my lifestyle for the better and, as such, in my quirky story, even the Big C was a blessing:  I am absolutely convinced that it was the Universe's way of buying me more time because but for the 25 pounds I dropped, I was probably headed for cardiac trouble.   The Desiderata is true: "...whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

However, some of these "gifts" are really challenges, so be careful what you wish for.  Consider my first overseas business trip after the Big C.  I had meetings in Modena, Italy, and it was very snowy and cold.  The San Luca shrine sits atop a hill overlooking Bologna, and the ascent to San Luca from the city's center plaza is a 10 kilometer mini-pilgrimage. Since I was feeling better every day, I decided I'd make the journey.  Well, it's all uphill and by the time I was 2/3 of the way up, I was having to stop and rest every few minutes and eventually, to my astonishment, my knee actually buckled and I almost fell.  It was at that moment when I realized the arrogance of my attitude and the lack of consideration I was giving my poor, irradiated and microwaved body.  

Embarrassed and humbled, I sat down to rest and in the span of a millisecond the title, melody and chorus of a beautiful song called "The Steps to San Luca" appeared in their entirety in my head.  I didn't have pen and paper but recorded the melody, sang the verse, and KNEW the song was a serious winner.  When I got back, I sat down with Joel to sing him the song, he - as always - masterfully defined the incredibly complex underlying chords on a nylon string guitar, and he too was sold.  Another miracle from heaven?

Yes, but this one with strings: two years later and after countless hours of effort, I am still stuck on the verses!  I have simply been unable to write verse lyrics which can come even close to the melodic and lyrical integrity of the chorus downloaded to me from heaven.

C'mon, Muses, a little help?(-;

Atomic Dust

Brian (a/k/a Krashpad) formed a band called the Atomics in Gainesville, Florida, around 1980.  I was a sophomore at UF.   The proto-punk band - we covered Thin Lizzy and the Ramones - played the UF Rathskellar (burned down decades ago) and endured a full decade in various incarnations as we came and left UF.  Brian's vision remained consistent throughout.

For part of that time, I was lead singer for the Atomics, and my musical palate ran more "New Wavey" for the most part, so after much cajoling, Brian, Jon, and the Little Drummer Boy (I think his name was Adam and he was literally 12 years old) conceded.  (I should add that the drummer's mom, back then a very attractive "old lady" in her early 30s, used to have to accompany him to the night gigs because the drinking age was, after all 18!)   So there I was, in camo pants, black Converse high tops, and a black T shirt, with my (occasionally permed) mullet, belting out Cheap Trick's "Surrender" and even Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot".  What a vision...LOL.  And tried as I could, I could never quite hit "Roxanne"...

Anyway, this nostalgic entry was prompted by Brian's posting on FB of the decade long roster of those of us who were privileged to be a part of The Atomics.  Here's to you, Brian, and to the Punk Rat Pack....(-:

Here we go!

"Extraordinary" is the word which best describes my last two=plus decades of songwriting, dreaming, and working with Joel Someillan.  Now, with the imminent release of Hidin' Downisland, our first album release in the not-so-new-anymore millennium, iInstead of being the rabbit sprinting ahead at breakneck speed, I find myself these days squirming as I acclimate to the tortoise-like pace required in today's music market.

Still, the rabbit hole is there, and it does go quite deep:  as Joel continues to refine our live production materials, structure rehearsals, and assemble the most compelling music performance "experience" - his word, not mine -- I am working hard to get my voice ready for the first real live performances in many, many years.   There is an old cowboy saying: "No leg, no horse."  In the context of the music I've written and performed "After All These Years" (pun very much intended), it is fair to say that "No Joel, No Jose Latour music".  Thank you, Joel.

One day soon, after countless hours of scolding me on my timing, my weird, inexplicable mid song key changes, and my bad air guitar moments, Joel and I will again be performing our music in South Florida...and the distant hoofbeats of Caribbean Cowboys will again resonate over Biscayne Bay.

Will keep you posted! jose